Nineteen is far too young. . .

It’s a sad fact of the human condition that we really don’t know how good we’ve got it until it’s gone. I only left school a mere three years ago but many of the faces I saw today I haven’t seen in three long years. It isn’t because I don’t love any of these people just as dearly as I did then; it just seems an inevitable course of life.

Some of us go to university, some of us get a job, some bum around for a while and I, perhaps somewhat disgracefully, haven’t a clue how some of these people have spent the last 1095 days since school. We’ve all slowly disappeared from each other, gone our own separate ways, with no one even realising it’s happened. The efforts of keeping in contact slowly wane and it’s days like this when you realise the people who used to be your entire life are almost strangers, just the same as the ones I’m looking at as I sit on this train.

Nineteen is far too young, and I’m still struggling with the realisation that someone younger than me, someone who so full of life and someone who I spoke to a mere few weeks ago is gone for good. I’m not sure how I feel about the whole religion thing, but if there’s any way you’re reading this Glen, I want you to know you were one of the most beautiful human beings I’ve ever met. You were one of the most genuine and lovable people I’ve ever met and I’m so proud that you achieved your dreams. I just wish it didn’t have to end now.

Even though I spoke to you a few weeks ago, it still feels like I didn’t make enough effort. We all take for granted the fact that we’re all going to be here in the morning and that everyone knows how much we really value them. I like to think you’d be touched to see how many people came back from across the country to send you off today, and that you’re probably wanting us all to cheer the fuck up.

Yet as I see all these faces I feel even guiltier, how many of these people, who I feel my hands slipping into or holding tightly have I made the effort to talk to recently? They’re still the same people they were and I still love them all unrequitedly. No one has the promise of tomorrow. Tiffs and squabbles are so inconsequential I wonder why they even matter now. It’s also a sad fact of the human condition it takes something like this to make us finally realise what’s important in life. It seems even now you’ve got that uncanny ability of bringing everyone back together.

Rest in Peace, Glen James.

All My Love Forever, Jem xxx

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